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Enter The Dream Realm Vol. 72 – Morph’s Crusade: Don’t Watch? Don’t Bitch!

Thursday, November 11, 2010 :: 9:50 pm • UncategorizedComments Off

“Guess Who’s Back…”
Enter The Dream Realm

Volume Seventy-Two

Morph’s Crusade: Don’t Watch? Don’t Bitch!

11/11/2010

Welcome, Dreamers, to the long-awaited, much anticipated, and return-marking Seventy-Second Edition of Enter The Dream Realm. I am Morpheus, Master of the Dreaming, and I will be your guide through this land of Nightmares and Dreamscapes. Greetings all, from the Land of the Rising Sun. To those of you who remember me, I give a hearty what’s up, and those of you new to the Dream Realm I bid you a cordial welcome. It’s good to be back here on Lords of Pain after an extended hiatus, and I’m excited about the prospect of getting to talk wrestling (among other things) with you guys once again. Time to get our geek on and inject some awesome into this bitch.

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Enter The Dream Realm Vol. 71 – The Hardy Zombie Apocalypse: The Movie (Act IIb)

Sunday, October 31, 2010 :: 3:05 pm • Bringing The Funny, ETDR1 Comment »

Volume Seventy-One

The Hardy Zombie Apocalypse: The Movie (Act IIb)

10/31/2010

CLICK HERE FOR ACT I
CLICK HERE FOR ACT II

Prime Time: Alright, fellas. We need to get in touch with our boys state-side. Anybody have some contact info we can use to do so?

ChrisBear: Well, Shane and I like to get pissed and talk about oiled men rolling around in their underthings.

Granddad Tommy: And you wonder why people think you’re an arse bandit?

Prime Time: Well then, give him a call. Can you put it on speaker phone?

ChrisBear: That I can.

ChrisBear hits Send on his cell phone and places it on the hood of Prime Time’s car. The men are all silent as they hear the phone ring once… Twice… A third time…

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Testing, Bitches!

Friday, October 29, 2010 :: 2:20 pm • UncategorizedComments Off

Yeah, so this epically awesome post is me testing to see whether or not the RSS feed action up in this piece actually works or not. So majestic, yet so wicked awesome.

M


Enter The Dream Realm Vol. 70 – The Hardy Zombie Apocalypse: The Movie (Act II)

Thursday, October 28, 2010 :: 11:58 pm • Bringing The Funny, ETDR2 Comments »

Volume Seventy

The Hardy Zombie Apocalypse: The Movie (Act II)

10/28/2010

CLICK HERE FOR ACT I

Shane turns the key and starts the engine of the van as the other six men prepare to leave.

Current Big Thing: Shotgun!

YourAyatollah: My ass! Head to the back of the bus, Ms. Parks.

Uncle Joe: Dude, that’s fucked up. Hustle’s Black.

Hustle: Damn.

Morpheus: Somebody take this sword from me before I do something we all regret.

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Enter The Dream Realm Vol. 69 – The Hardy Zombie Apocalypse: The Movie (Act I)

Sunday, October 24, 2010 :: 7:05 pm • Bringing The Funny, ETDR4 Comments »

Volume Sixty-Nine (heh heh heh heh)

The Hardy Zombie Apocalypse: The Movie (Act I)

10/24/2010

The scene opens with Morpheus sitting at his computer, typing frenetically. The camera zooms in to focus on the words appearing on the screen.

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Enter The Dream Realm Vol. 68 – The Rant Zone: The Hardy Zombie Apocalypse

Sunday, October 17, 2010 :: 5:23 pm • ETDR, Ranting and Raving, Wrestling2 Comments »

Volume Sixty-Eight

The Rant Zone: The Hardy Zombie Apocalypse

10/17/2010

I want to preface this by stating some things up front. I am a fan of Matt Hardy. I am a fan of Jeff Hardy. I find that they are entertaining to watch when they wrestle, and are capable of putting on decent matches. They are good workers, and oftentimes have gone the extra mile in putting their well-beings on the line to give the fans memorable moments.

That said, I think it’s just about time that these two Boyz shut the fuck up.

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Enter The Dream Realm Vol. 67 – The End Of The Innocence

Saturday, October 9, 2010 :: 4:05 pm • ETDR, Wrestling5 Comments »

NOTE: Every month in the LOP Columns Forum, there is a vote to determine which columnist had the best month out of all the writers in the forum. The winner of Columnist of the Month is then given the opportunity to post one of their columns on the Main Page. In August, the honor was bestowed upon Morpheus for the fourth time. The posting of his column was delayed a bit by the recent birth of his daughter, but here it is, better late than never. The winner of the September COTM contest is Shane, and he will be posting his column in the near future, hopefully without the same extreme delay that plagued Morpheus.


You go to LOP looking for more news regarding the new series being-pitched-by-slash-starring Hulk Hogan, so you can be sure to avoid the hell out of it, when you notice a new link in the Columns section. You recognize the name, and decide to click on the link to see what’s inside. As soon as you do so, your computer screen explodes into a dazzling array of colors, swirling hypnotically before you. After a few seconds, the colors seem to swirl together to form the shape of an hourglass, and you watch, transfixed, as it begins to turn over and the rainbow sand begins falling from the upper chamber. As the first grains hit the bottom, you feel yourself slip from consciousness as you once again begin to…

Volume Sixty-Seven

The End Of The Innocence

10/09/2010

Welcome, Dreamers, to the landmark Sixty-Seventh Edition of Enter The Dream Realm. I am Morpheus, Master of the Dreaming, and I will be your guide through this land of Nightmares and Dreamscapes. It certainly has been a good long time since the last time we danced here on Lords of Pain, hasn’t it? It’s been an eventful couple of years here in the life of the Dream Master. Having finally finished school, I moved with my new wife to Japan, where I am working as a Geophysics Professor, and she is working on recovering from having our first child just two weeks ago. That is right; the child spoken of in the prophecy has come. She has risen from the depths of legend to restore the balance between good and awesome. Hold your banners high and raise the fist of the Metal child!

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RetroRants – A Revelation!

Thursday, September 30, 2010 :: 11:01 pm • Blast From The Past, Ranting and RavingComments Off

(Originally posted on August 3, 2006)

Hello once again, mother fuckers and mother fuckettes. I trust the day is treating you better than it is me. I’m not going into any more detail than that, but let’s just say it’s one of those weeks that makes one wonder what’s so wrong with euthanasia.

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Enter The Dream Realm: Rebirth – Vol. Three: With Arms Wide Open / I Hope You Dance

Sunday, August 29, 2010 :: 11:45 am • ETDR, Wrestling2 Comments »

You are awakened by the feel of cool water against your lips, and you swallow hungrily, trying to quench a thirst you didn’t know you had. You open your eyes, and once again see the man standing over you. You ask who he is, and he smiles, saying you already know. He reaches over for the light an turns it back off, casting the room in darkness. “This is it, we’re almost finished. It’s time for your Rebirth. I’ll see you on the other side.” You start to ask what he means, but find the words won’t come as you feel your grip on lucidity begin to fade. Your eyes flutter in the blackness as you slip from consciousness, and once again begin to…

Rebirth – Vol. Three:

With Arms Wide Open / I Hope You Dance

08/29/2010

The week of January 18, 2010 was the biggest week of my life thus far. On that Monday, I had interviewed for the open professorship position in the Geodynamics Research Center where I was working as a Post-Doctoral Research Fellow. I figured it was a courtesy interview, as I knew I was up against 27 older candidates with more experience, and I also knew I was hindered by my inability to speak Japanese. I took it all in stride and just gave the best interview I could, figuring at the end of the day it would at least be experience I could use in the future. It’s always good to practice one’s promo skills.

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Enter The Dream Realm: Rebirth – Vol. Two: The Spirit Carries On

Sunday, August 22, 2010 :: 11:41 pm • ETDR, Wrestling2 Comments »

You awaken from a deep sleep as you feel yourself land softly on the mattress of your bed. The room is pitch black, and you still have the bright flash from your computer monitor in your eyes, preventing you from seeing anything. You reach over and turn on the lamp in your room, and rub your eyes to clear them. When you open your eyes, you see the man you noticed standing over you before seated in the chair next to your bed. As you open your mouth to protest, he raises a hand and says, “We’re not finished yet. You will see, in time.” He smiles and snaps his fingers, causing you to become light-headed. Your vision begins to blur, and you lay back down as you slip from consciousness, and once again begin to…

Rebirth – Vol. Two:

The Spirit Carries On

08/22/2010

“Where did we come from? Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond? And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?”
All lyrics from Dream Theater – The Spirit Carries On

One of the universal truths that we have to come to embrace during our relatively short existence on this planet is that everything has a beginning and an end. As much as many of us may wish it were so, nothing truly lasts forever. The moment any living creature on Earth draws its first breath, the countdown clock begins to tick away the seconds leading up to its last. It is the natural order of things, and though we may rail against it at times, there is nothing that we can do to stop it. However, where the soul meets the science, there is some solace that can be taken in this fact.

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